Greatest Shower Thoughts
My favorites :
Wed Apr 1 08:19:06 2020 - permalink -
If my calculator had a history, it would be more embarrassing than my browser history.
The Olympics should have a 'For Fun' section at the end of all the games so all the athletes can try different sports.
What if Earth is like one of those uncontacted tribes in South America, like the whole Galaxy knows we're here but they've agreed not to contact us until we figure it out for ourselves.
I've woken up over 10,000 times and I'm still not used to it.
Christmas feels more like a deadline than a holiday.
"DO NOT TOUCH" would probably be a really unsettling thing to read in braille.
Last night my friend asked to use a USB port to charge his cigarette, but I was using it to charge my book. The future is stupid.
When people think about travelling to the past, they worry about accidentally changing the present, but no one in the present really thinks they can radically change the future.
My dog understand several human words. I don’t understand any dog barks. He may be smarter than me.
A guy can decline an invitation by saying his girlfriend won't let him go and everyone will likely understand. But if a girl declines an invitation by saying her boyfriend won't let her go, people will likely get concerned.
My 15 year old self would be appalled to hear how many times I've chosen sleep over sex.
April Fool's Day is the one day of the year when people critically evaluate news articles before accepting them as true.
1984-2000 seems a very long time compared to 2000-2016.
Taxes are like a subscription to your Country that you can't cancel, no matter how bad the service gets.
When Sweden is playing Denmark, it is SWE-DEN. The remaining letters, not used, is DEN-MARK.
Car horns should only be allowed to be in pitches C, E, and G, so whenever two people honk at the same time it will be in harmony and traffic jams will sound like symphonies.
The person who would proof read Hitler's speeches was a grammar Nazi.
Tobacco companies should be leading in the search for a cancer cure. The day after a cure is found, sales of cigarettes are going to go up by 500,000% from the millions of us that quit for health / longevity reasons.
I am 100% confident that if I ever hit a kid with my car, it will be because I'm staring at my speedometer in a school zone.
Scientists are adult kids stuck in the "why phase".
In order to fall asleep, you have to pretend to be asleep.
The object of golf is to play the least amout of golf.
In normal English, execute and kill are synonyms, but on a computer, they're antonyms. (interesting comment : "Same with Manage and Run")
"Strap-on" spelled backwards is "no parts".